How am I supposed to live without you?
by CrAzY TrAcY 82
Summary: A song fic: between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn when Edward invites Jacob to their wedding, its what I think Jake was going through during the time he ran away. Please read and Review if enough people like it I'l write more


It was a beautiful sunny morning as Jacob Black arrived back from Patrol, all he wanted to do was grab some breakfast and hit his bed, it had been a long night that he just wanted to forget but as usual Leah was going on at everyone making thier lives hell, he was trying this hardest to forget about Bella Swan and that bloodsucker that she was marrying, but between his brothers sympathy for him and Leah's constant complaining they were making it even harder, he walked through Billy's front door and decided on getting something to eat before hitting his bed, when he walked past the table that held the invitation for thier wedding, he tried to just ignore it, but he kept feeling like it was calling his name as he walked past. He grabbed the inviation and threw it in the bin, trying to get it out of his sight, once he got to his bed, he lay down but couldn't sleep, her beautiful angelic face was all Jake could see whenever he closed his eyes. He couldn't take it anymore, once Billy had left for Sue Clearwaters place, Jake started passing around the room. _I have to get out of here _Jake thought to himself, _your dad and the pack will understand_ the voice in his head kept whispering, He quickly left a not for Billy explaining that this was something he just had to do.

_Dad_

_I'm sorry to do this to you, but I need some space, _

_I promise I'll be home as soon as I can, _

_Its just to hard at the moment_

_Don't worry about me, I'll be fine_

_Jake_

With the note being written he left it in the middle of the table where Billy was sure to see it, he looked around the little house one more time, before running out the door, he had to go see Bella, make sure this wasn't some sick joke that her bloodsucker was playing to keep him out of her life, he met up with her at school at morning,

'Jake' she said softly shocked to see him there,

'can I talk to you ... privately' he said, keeping a stern tone to his voice while not taking his eyes off Edward, he noticed the bloodsucker nod to Bella and she quietly walked with him out of hearing distance of everyone,

'your getting married' he asked, his voice instantly softening as he looked at her, her face fell as she looked away from him, Jake took a deep breath, the reality finally hitting him that he had lost her,

_**I could hardly believe it**_

_**when I heard the news today**_

_**I had to come and get it straight from you**_

_**they said you were leaving**_

_**someone swept your heart away,**_

_**from that look upon your face I see its true**_

_**so tell me all about it**_

_**then tell me about the plans your making**_

_**tell me one more thing before I go**_

_**tell me how am I supposed to live without you?**_

'I .. I got to go' he said, turning away from her and walking back into the forest,

'JAKE' he heard Bella shout, but he couldn't turn around to look at her, it hurt to much, he knew by phasing into wolf form Sam and the pack would be able to communicate with him and he just wasn't up to talking to anyone yet. Jake walked through the forest, knowing his way around there by now, the but images of Bella and thier time spent together was still running through his mind, this wasn't the freedom he had expected, not being able to take the voices or thoughts anymore he phased and ran letting the wind hit against his fur, this was the best part of being a wolf, the speed and freedom he felt, but soon those voices got louder and more distinct when he realized it was his brothers. Jake tried to push them aside, feeling bad for causing them worry, but also knowing if he answered back they would never go away, the only way to get rid of them would have been phasing back to human form, but he just wasn't ready for those yet, so keeping his thoughts of nothing the pack eventually gave up and stopped looking for him, _Guys leave Jake, he needs his space, he will come back to us once he is ready _ Came Sam's voice.

Jake was thankfully to Sam for saying that, as he was the Alpha Male and whatever the Alpha said the rest of the pack had to obey wheather they liked it or not, he carried on racing through the forest, the furthest he got from La Push the more freedom he felt, soon night started to fall and Jake who had been running all day lay down to rest, the cool wind blowing against his fur kept him cold, but that didn't keep the dreams away ... in this dream he and Bella were at the garage, working on his bike, the Cullens no where to be seen, it was just like old times, and he felt happy ... she had that effect on him, he wasn't sure when it changed ... When they started fixing up the bikes, when she moved back to Forks to live with Charlie ... or maybe it had always been there and he just didn't realize it until now. It didn't really matter when it started he thought to himself, it was still the facts .. Isabella Swan made him feel whole, he thought about what thier life could be like if she choose him instead ... instead of that bloodsucker ... Edward Cullen, who claimed he loved her but just up and left, leaving her broken inside, well now he was back and it was Jacob who was left broken.

He awoke the next morning to his stomache rumbling and remembered he hadn't eaten anything since the morning before, he decided to go hunting and found himself a nice deer, it was the one part of being a wolf he couldn't get used to, _but when you're hungry ... your hungry _he thought to himself as he ate the deer. All day long he just kept thinking of the dreams he had the night before, they were so happy in them that he couldn't handle the feel of his heart breaking ... everyone kept trying to tell him that it was going to be okay ... but it wasn't, he would never be the guy that had Bella, she was everything to him, and he had just lost her, how was that ever going to be okay.

_**Tell me how am I supposed to live without you**_

_**now that I've been loving you so long**_

_**How am I supposed to live without you**_

_**how am I supposed to carry on**_

_**When all that I've been living for is gone**_

The days seemed to drag on as Jake wondered around the forest, it was nearing Bella and Edwards wedding, no one had seen or heard from Jake since the morning he arrived at Forks high school, the pack were deeply upset by the absence of Jake, which made thier hatred towards the Cullens even stronger, No one had any idea where Jake was, all they could do was pray and hope that he was still okay.

Jake ran threw the forest, feeling the wind in his fur, he got as high up as the Canadian border, but just couldn't seem to cross it, he felt like he was running away, only he couldn't run away from the thoughts in his head, he had promised Bell that he would be there for her no matter what ...did that also mean if she chose him, why would she need Jake around with the Cullens anyway, he lay down under the tree and howled, it didn't take his pain away but it did help a little, he fell asleep that night with dreams of Bella as usual, but this time, Bella was planning her wedding to him, it was the most amazing day of his life, everyone he loved was there, and as the wedding march started, everyone stood up and turned around as Bella walked down the Isle on Charlies arm, she looked breathtaking in the long perfect wedding dress, it was white, and flowed down to the floor, her veil trailing behind her, he felt his breathless just looking at her. This was the day everyone dreamed of ... and as she walked down the Isle he couldn't take his eyes off her, she smiled brightly at him and took his hand as Charlie handed her over to him,

'who gives away this young lady' the minister asked,

'We do' Renee and Charlie answered together as they started the cerimony, the rest of it blured out, and all Jake could remember was the minster announcing that they were husband and wife, and as they danced under the stars that night, he knew his life was complete,

He woke the next morning and a growl errupted as the heart ache attacked him even more, only he remembered it was Edwards dream that was coming true not his, but something told him he had to see her again, with that he was up and running back to Forks, by the time he got there it was the day of Bella and Edwards wedding, he didn't want anyone to know he was there so he had Sam arrange with the Cullens that Bella meet him by the forest entry during thier reception.

Hey guys!!! This is just a short story, based between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn when Jake runs off ... Please tell me what you think, and if i need to fix it up thanks :D

He stood there watching them, just like in his dream Bella was breathtaking, and he ached to hold her in his arms, even if it was just one more time, her face lit up as she realized it was Jake, he pulled her close to him as they started to dance, he felt like his dream was coming true, only she was married to Edward and this was his way of saying goodbye to her, He hated the fact that she was married, especially to that Bloodsucker, but if she was happy he would try his hardest to be happy for her.

_**I didn't come here for cryin'**_

_**I didn't come here to break down**_

_**Its just a dream of mine is coming to an end**_

_**How can I blame you, when I built my world around**_

_**The hope that someday**_

_**we'd be so much more then friends**_

_**and I don't wanna know the price**_

_**I'm gonna pay for dreamin'**_

_**When even now its more then I can take**_

He pulled her closer to him, looking up at the stars shining above them, he sighed hating the fact that she fit so perfectly in his arms, he rested his chin on her head, trying to ignore his heart race quickening as she snuggled against his warm skin, he knew this was going to break his heart even more once the song ended and he had to fight to remind himself that this was just a song and she belong to someone else now, there was never going to be a 'Bella and Jacob' happily ever after, he reluctently pulled away from her when the song ended and looked down at her,

'Are you happy?' he asked her softly, looking into her eyes, she nodded and hugged,

'thank you for coming, it just made my night the most perfect night,' she said softly, he looked away trying to ignore the feel of his heart breaking,

'I'm sorry Bella ... I got to go' he whispered, moving a strand of her hair out of her eyes,

'Please Jake ... stay' she asked pleading, he looked away not able to see the pain in her eyes as he pulled her close to him in a tight hug,

'I love you Bella ... I always will' he whispered, and kissed her forehead, he had to get out of there before anyone saw that he was about to cry, he ran into the forest and turned to wave goodbye to her, but when he turned around she was already in the arms of Edward Cullen, he smiled the best he could and with that, he was back into the forest and phasing, it was the hardest thing he had ever done, but at least he knew she would be happy, and at least one of them should have thier dreams come true, 'I love you Bella' he whispered to himself, running threw the forest as the Cullens and Wolves watched him go.

_**And I don't wanna face the price**_

_**I'm gonna pay for dreaming**_

_**now that your dream has come true**_

_****How am I supposed to live without you - Michael Bolton****_


End file.
